Happy 1st Birthday, Murphy,
Anna Butler’s dog
Hi ya Cranfield Kids. School’s out!!!! I’m glad schools over, ‘cause now I’ve got 6 weeks of holiday to play with my friends. Loads of great stuff is on this year, for instance we’re going to the bible club. Write in and tell us what you’ve been up to this summer. Now onto the jokes.
Wacky Jokes Time
Two goldfish in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Why do elephants paint the bottom of their feet yellow? - To hide upside down in the custard.
Why do elephants paint their toenails red? - To hide in cherry trees.
How does an elephant get out of a cherry tree? Sits on a leaf and waits for Autumn. See Ya. The Annas.
Heya Cranfield,
Phew, it’s nice to be back, although we do miss the sea. You see, we’ve been to Osmington Bay in Dorset with Holywell School for 5 days.
We had loadsa fun doing many activities including: Archery, Abseiling, Rock climbing, Quad biking, Pipes and poles, Beach walk and Jacob’s ladder. Not only were we lucky enough to have these activities, when we arrived we were instantly welcomed by the sun and it stayed like it all week. So year 5’s suck up to your parents for next year’s trip!!
Luv, the unpacking - Annas.
Wacky Jokes Time
When is the best time to go the the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30)
Why did the Jelly Baby go to school?
Because he wanted to become a smartie.
A man went to an inn on Thursday, stayed for 5 days and came back on Friday. How did he do this?
Thursday and Friday are the names of his horses.
From Group 1, Osmington on Bay as they crossed the joke bridge (Pipes and poles).
Wacky Jokes Time
A business man is surprised to see a dog come in for an interview. He says "This is a high powered job, are you up to it?" and the golden retriever responds "Yes". "Can you type?" asks the man. "90 words per minute," responds the dog. "Shorthand?" says the man "120 words per minute," says the dog.
"But this is a multi-lingual position" says the man. The dog looks at him, and without blinking says "Meow".
See Ya. The Annas.
During the holiday I went to watch the movie ‘The Wedding Planner’. It starred Jennifer Lopez and with her song ‘Love Don’t Cost a Thing’. It is about a wedding planner who plans weddings for people when it started getting better for her, and then it started going all wrong. The Wedding Planner is a PG. Some bits are funny. I found it a very good film. If you go and see it, I hope you enjoy it.
Louise Voyce
Happy 1st Birthday, Murphy, Anna Butler’s dog |
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Hiyah and welcome to the school smells protesting Anna's kids column,
As far as we're concerned we're pretty sure that most of you kids out there will agree with us that school smells and are dreading going back to school on Tuesday (especially those yr 6's out there or any one else who'll be getting ready for icky exams.) Lined up next month we have wacky jokes and pets corner so …..
See ya
The Anna's
p.s Has any one been to see a movie lately, because we're still waiting for some film review's 'cause surely someone's been to see Rugrats in Paris or Spy Kids?
Wacky Jokes Time
A Panda walks into a pub and grabs a packet of crisps and when he's finished them he gets a gun out and fires it at the bar-man. The Landlord, a bit confused, looks up the definition of 'panda': 'A bear like mammal, eats shoots and leaves'.
This joke was donated by a grown up (oh no, grown ups are even taking over the kids column....aaargh!).
See Ya. The Annas.
Pets corner
I have a cat called Mandy who is very lazy and always sleeps. She is always inside by the fire and she never plays. She is really old. When she was only a kitten I remember her chasing string around that I was pulling. She would crouch really low and then jump on the string. She never does that now as it would destroy her daily routine of sleeping. Ellie Neate.
This is a funny story about my pet cat Cassidy, when he jumped into the bin. I had just finished my Sunday lunch and my Mum threw the lamb bone away. Cassidy was sitting on the chair near the bin and jumped in after the bone when no-one was looking. Mum came back and shut the bin. After a short while she heard a faint mew. She was just about to put something else in the bin when, with a huge meow, Cassidy sprang out of the bin and straight through to the lounge. Mum followed him and made him go out because he had been a really bad boy. I felt really sorry for Cassidy but I knew my Mum was right. Danielle Johnson
We went down to the park on a wet and frosty day. I let my dog Perry off her lead so she could run around. When we were walking out she ran to the hedge and stuck her head in. She suddenly backed out because there was a hedgehog that had touched her nose. When we got to the gate there was a huge puddle, and a really muddy one too. Perry went right through the middle and sat down. She looked at me and barked and I smiled at her and laughed, then we walked back home and she had a big bath. Sarah Parker
We would love to hear more of your pet stories. Grown ups can join in too, if they really have to.
Here’s another new thing in the Kid’s Column - Film reviews. here’s one to start you off. On the 20th Feb we went to see The Emperor’s New Groove. We went as a group with Anna B’s sister and Anna H’s mum. We enjoyed it and gave it 7 out of 10. We recommmend it to anyone especially younger children.
See ya - the Anna’s
Wacky Jokes Time
Fred: Hey, Bob. What do you reckon you were saying on the exact second of the millenium?
Bob: Probably 3.
Q. How do you confuse an idiot?
A. Purple.
Boy talking to his father: Dad, why can’t we do the fireworks in the day, then we could see where to light them.
Q. What dinosaur drinks tea?
A. T-rex.
Joe: Okay, sir, could you fix my door for £2,000,000?
Locksmith: Where’s the catch?
The person who wrote these jokes wishes to stay anonymous due to their patheticness. So don’t worry, Edmund. We won’t tell them your name’s Edmund Donnellan.
Pets Corner
| My pet dog Sam was funny because he got his head stuck in a bin lid! He
came down the stairs and we took a photo of him with the bin lid on his head. Sam used to
drink out of the toilet when he was allowed upstairs. Sam once got stuck in the shed. We
heard him barking but did not know where he was and we were looking for him in the garden.
Mum found him in the end and let him out! Christina Williams. |
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My cat Polly is a bit weird! She lies on the couch sucking her tail. Then, when she stops, she has a huge needle shaped tail, which is fluffy round the edge. She claws herself along the couch. She sleeps on my bed and when I push her off she lands on the floor but is still fast asleep!
Lizzie Davitt
I have a pet hamster called Socks. He is a Satin Cream Banded hamster and he is very friendly. He is about nine months old. I like him because he is funny and friendly. However, occasionally he bites and I don't like cleaning out his cage!
Dominique Davies
Thanks to 1st Cranfield Guides for their contributions for pets corner. More next month.
We're pleased to know you've made it through almost two months without us to cheer you up. But we've got a bit of a problem. We set a competition and none of you entered! Last issue there was a small notice saying we ate the chocolates, but that's wrong, we SCOFFED the lot! And to think you chould have eaten them. Well, we thought we would give you lot a second chance to have your name in the Kid's Column. If you have a hobby, write a little about it, and send it to the address below and we will feature it in the next month's issue.
Wacky Jokes Time
Q. What do you call a man who comes through your letterbox?
A. Bill
Q. How do you send a baby astronaut to sleep?
A. Rocket
Q. What is a waiter's favourite sport?
A. Tennis, it improves his service.
Q. What do you call the noise made by the crowd at Wimbledon?
A. Tennis racket
Q. What is brown and sticky?
A. A stick
Q. What hangs on a wall and ticks?
A. Ticky paper.
Pets Corner| Here is a new part of the Anna's Kid's Column. The pet featured this month
is a Syrian Hamster called Dusty who is 11½ months old and owned by Anna Hartley. Good points: fun to play with, easy to look after. Bad points: having to clean out the cage! |
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Anyway, you know what it's time for now, yup you've guessed it, it's
Wacky Jokes Time
Q. What do you give a sick Lemon?
A. Lemonade!
Q. What four letters frighten robbers?
A. OICU!
Q. What did the baby sardine say when he saw a submarine?
A. Look Mum - a tin of people!
Q. What do you give a sick pig?
A. Oinkment!
Q. Why did the boy swallow 25p?
A. It was his dinner money!
Q. Did you hear about the boy who got Egyptian Flu?
A. He caught it from his mummy!
Q. What do you give a sick bird?
A. Tweetment!
Q. How did the monkey make toast?
A. He put it under the gorilla!
Q. Where do baby gorillas sleep?
A. In ape-ri-cots!
Jokes this month by Eleanor Stephenson.
Send your jokes to Annas Wacky Jokes, 102A Bedford Rd, Cranfield
Anna Butler and Anna Hartley
The Annas Kid’s Column
Hi Kids' column readers,
You know who this is don't you? Yup, that's right, it's the Annas.
This month we're doing a competition with a real prize (neat,eh?).
So if you want to win a prize send us your answer to this question
...de de dum dum dummm....
How many continents are there?
Put your answer with your name and address on a piece of paper and send it to the address at the end. The winning answer will be pulled out of the hat on December 10th.
Wacky Jokes Time
Doctor,doctor. I feel like a pack of cards. Sit down, don't shuffle about and I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, doctor. I feel like a bucket. You do look a little pale!
Q. What did the vampire say after he finished with his victim?
A. Fangs a lot!
Q. What was Dracula before he was married?
A. A bat-chelor!
Q. What sort of monster gets up your nose?
A. A bogey man!
Jokes this month from Laura Blay.
