Scary flo ... The interview
Its not very often we get the chance to interview such a knowledgeable village character such as Scary Flo. The love of village life, sport and his visions of community bonding are at the edge of his every word and I would like to thank him greatly for opening his heart to the Cranfield Express ...
They say you are a local, Flo, or have you lived here for less than fifty years?
I was born and lived just two hundred yards from the church bells for 26 years before I moved to the posh end of the village so I guess that makes me a Cranfieldian all the way through.
Hmm, we know from your recently published memoirs that you enjoyed village life back in the 40s, 50s and 60s but what do you think of village life now?
In those days you knew everybody but now it just seems to be a commuting village. Once you either worked at the College or at the brickyards. Today, you can sit at Salford and watch the village empty to London and Milton Keynes. In the 60s people moved into the village and then complained about the noise from the airfield and the smell from the brickyards - we were just glad to have a job and didnt hold with no moaning about it.
If you were a powerful voice on the parish council what would you do for the village?
All my effort would go into trying to provide an area for sport facilities cos there isnt any. We as villagers are not allowed to use the University facilities. All youth teams - football and netball as well as youth cricket - have to leave the village to play their chosen sport. Also, I would make a point of chasing up that elusive swimming pool fund that villagers gave generously to and find out what it is worth. People have asked these questions in your paper but the answers dont seem to be there.
And, if you were elected prime minister of the land what would you do to improve the country? Careful with this one, Flo, in case we cant publish your answer.
Bring back National Service and cancel all student loans. Every person should have the chance to improve their education.
And, if the local genie, Kabbatis, granted you three wishes - what would they be?
Those bollards near the Cross Keys to be vapourised. Id make the new houses smaller and cheaper so that youngsters would get an easier chance to start their married lives and Id have the return of the village bobby - but not Mr Carter.
Who is your favourite Cranfield character?
Well, I havent really got a favourite but the ones who count most for me are :- Mr Howe the farmer. He told me many stories... Mr Pulley the baker. His bread was to blame for my weight problem... Frank Day. I had an allotment next to his and watched him gardening but never seemed to do as well ... Pete Woodin and Lou Seamarks who taught me the ropes at CUFC and told many old footballing stories.
If you could have your time over again what would you have changed?
I would have tried much harder at school. Teachers and Navy teachers told me that all I wanted to do was play sport. I would have loved to have made the grade at football but spent nine years in the Royal Navy.
We know of your love for the game of football and in particular CUFC but, who would have made the grade for England if they had been given the opportunity?
Best footballing memories were managing CUFC with Brian Griffiths, playing in the South Midlands Premier Division and seeing three village players - Paul Bampton, Nick Dunn and Keith Stapleton playing for Bedfordshire at senior level.
If you were in Coronation Street (not Road) would you have the hots for Scary Deidre?
Who is Deidre? What team does he play for? And I dont watch soaps. They dont appear on Sky Sports. Im told I have a Benny hat ... I just smile and ask, Whos he?
Do you have an eye for the birds?
My favourite bird is that gull and, like many village people, I think there must be a way to finish him off for good. The average lifespan for that type of bird is five years. We just live in hope.
Any last wishes before this interview ends?
When my call comes I hope to be buried not more than two hundred yards from where I was born and spent my childhood or, that my ashes are spread in the top goal at Crawley road - but not til at least 2030.
Is it half past eight already, Scary?